Discovering a Word That Defines You

People often ask, “What are one or two words that define you?” It’s an interesting question, but I’ve never really had a good answer. Honestly, I don’t think a single word can capture most people. And yet, today I stumbled upon a Japanese term I’d never heard before—one that surprisingly fits me.

The word is tsundoku (積ん読), which refers to buying books and never getting around to reading them. When I learned it, I laughed out loud. Flattering or not, it describes a part of me perfectly.

I have boxes and boxes of books stored in my attic. I’m not a hoarder—at least I don’t think so—but I bought every one of those books with the intention of reading them. Somehow life happened, time passed, and they ended up in storage, waiting for “eventually.”

These days, I try not to buy many physical books. I rely more on audiobooks. Yet the discovery of tsundoku struck me as wonderfully human. Apparently the habit is common enough in Japanese culture to earn its own term—and that makes me feel like I’m in good company.

When One Word Shifts Your Perspective

So if someone were to ask me again, “How do you define yourself in one word?”—maybe I finally have an answer: Tsundoku.

We all have these small quirks and traits that shape us, but we don’t always recognize them until language gives us the right lens. Sometimes a single word reveals something we’ve known all along but never had the vocabulary for. In that sense, language becomes a small mirror—one that reflects us back to ourselves with surprising clarity.

“Sometimes the right word feels like a gift—one that helps us see ourselves a little more clearly.”

I hope you, too, stumble upon words or concepts that give you that aha! moment.

The Power of Language

Language is incredibly powerful. Today I learned a word I never knew existed, and suddenly I was able to name a part of myself that had always been there. Different words and labels help us identify patterns, behaviors, and personality traits we may not have realized were specific to us. We assume, that’s just how life is, but it’s usually more nuanced.

That’s why the words we use matter—both with ourselves and with others. The language we choose can help people understand themselves, feel seen, or make sense of something they’ve been carrying for years. And the language we hear from others can shape how we view ourselves.

So the next time you hear the saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me,” remember:

I don’t think that’s true. Words absolutely matter.

Takeaway: Words Can Guide You Toward Self-Understanding

Every so often, a single word—like tsundoku—opens a doorway to deeper self-understanding. If exploring these moments makes you curious about other parts of yourself, that’s often a sign you could benefit from speaking with someone trained to help you reflect, explore, and grow.

A good therapist doesn’t give you labels—you discover them together.

A therapist provides language, clarity, and perspective so you can understand yourself more fully.

If a simple word can shift how you see yourself, imagine what thoughtful guidance and deeper conversation could open up.