Nature vs. Nurture: The Role of Parents in Childhood Anxiety

I used to ask new clients seeking help for anxiety if any of their parents experienced anxiety. A seasoned therapist once suggested I rephrase the question to: “Which of your parents have anxiety?” This small change made the question more direct and often more accurate.

This leads us to wonder: Is anxiety genetic, a learned behavior, or a combination of both? Much has been written on this topic, but I want to focus on how anxiety can be a learned response.

If you’re a parent, you might relate to this scenario:

Imagine a toddler having an accident in the bathtub. It’s a challenging moment for any parent. If the parent reacts by panicking or overreacting, the toddler may develop an aversion to taking baths, associating them with fear and chaos. Eventually, the parent will find a way to coax the child back into the bath because it’s a necessity, and they will do what it takes to make the experience less stressful.

But what happens when a parent doesn’t realize their reactions are affecting the child in more subtle ways? What if the child witnesses a constant pattern of anxious responses and behaviors in their environment?

In this situation, the child starts developing a worldview where life feels overwhelming and unmanageable. Unlike the bath incident, the parent may not see the immediate consequences of their behavior and, therefore, may not take steps to correct the child’s perception.

This is why many therapists who work with childhood anxiety often choose to involve the parent in therapy sessions. In some cases, they may work exclusively with the parent, without directly involving the child. By addressing the parent’s responses and coping mechanisms, therapists can help reshape the child’s perception of anxiety.

Whether we can definitively answer the age-old question of nature versus nurture, we can certainly explore how nurturing—or the lack thereof—contributes to the development of anxiety.